Weak With Progress

Beckett’s recovery, 13 days into this ordeal, has been truly remarkable. A boy who was almost completely paralysed 9 days ago, now can walk, and jump, and use his hands to write, and poke and grab.

It’s truly incredible. And yet, despite all the progress, despite all the way he has come, he still has a very long road to hoe. His legs get tired in the time it takes to stand and brush his teeth. And running – that’s not quite in the cards yet.

These things, too, will come back in time.

To me it simply serves as a reminder how many aspects of our daily lives we take for granted. It’s not just that we can walk; or can stand, but that we can walk and stand for hours at a time. Each little step towards his old self is a new challenge, a new obstacle to overcome. In some ways, it really is like watching a baby learn to walk – they can take those few steps at first. With each day, their legs learn to support more weight, for a longer period of time. With each day they become stronger.

When Beckett does get out of here – Tuesday remains our target date – life won’t instantly return to normal. He may only be able to do half days to start when he returns to school. It’s amazing what the fatigue does to him. He’ll have to continue to receive physical therapy. But at least this constant cycle of one of us sleeping in hospital beds; of our family being broken and apart each night, will finally come to an end.

I know I can’t wait for the first day all of us will be in the house together. The last time was the morning of Friday, February 3.

I stupidly watched “The Crazies” last night before I went to bed. It’s another in a long line of “government experimental virus escapes – turns populace into zombies – starts the Apocalypse”- type films. Not bad, but not great, either.

Regardless, it made me have end-of-the-world zombie invasion dreams last night; which triggered some very early morning deep thinking about death and God and my comfort with both.

Needless to say; I’m not fully comfortable with either.

I believe in God, a higher power -very deeply – but I don’t know what I believe. I fear death, but I do little to confront that fear.

I realize this much: you can’t talk to God when you need God; and then turn your back when you don’t.

How many times can you get away with that stunt?

***

Beckett has had a really good couple days. As I said yesterday, he went to the Arizona Science Center yesterday – although they didn’t let the kids see BodyWorlds.

Today, he went to Starbucks or ice cream or both. His therapy has consisted of him climbing stairs, riding bikes and taking walks outside. Tomorrow, I get to do my first full day of physical therapy with him.

We did a repeat of last Friday night. First some school work, then movie night in the hospital bed. Tonight we cuddled and watched Star Wars I – the one with Jar Jar Binks. I remember disliking it when I saw it 7 or 8 years ago; but I quite liked it tonight. Maybe it was the company …

St. Joe’s, in case you hadn’t guessed, is a Catholic hospital. That means fish on Friday. Let’s just say: Hospital cafeteria fish? No thanks.

Luckily, our friends Scott and Traci made dinner for us tonight. It was some super awesome taco salad. WOW. Beckett and I chowed; and there was desert, too. Chocolate chip cookies.

This kid’s sickness is gonna’ cost me 10 pounds in the belly.

***

Spring training starts a week from today. 15 Major League Baseball teams call the Phoenix metro their spring training home, which pretty much means my home city is the coolest place to be in the whole country in March. On just about every day in March, there are 7 or 8 MLB preseason games being played all within 30 miles of my house; and a few just a bike ride away.

It’s sunny, typically in the 80s, and it calls you to play hooky – a lot – to sit in the sun, sip a soda or beer, and take in a perfect spring time day.

When all this went down, I thought to myself, man, I just want to be able to take Beckett to a spring training game – sit in the bleachers with him – and enjoy his company.

I can say with a fair degree of certainty, it looks like that’s gonna happen. Time to snag some tickets for opening day.

In fact, I think I’m going to do that right now.

– Ed, Heidi, Beckett and Brody