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Closure

On December 27,  Heidi made a $212 payment to Banner Health.  It was the final payment in what between what insurance paid, and our out-of-pocket costs, was a $150,000 ordeal. It’s a situation that has forever changed my life, Heidi’s life, our family’s lives. That the final bill was paid the day before Beckett’s 7th birthday, and just four days before the New Year made it even more symbolic.

There’s no way to belittle how this event has transformed me. It’s fundamentally shifted who I am at the core, the way I perceive what is important, the things that I care about. I understand that  it’s easy to say these things from the office of a beautiful home, with the security of an excellent job, with the love of many friends and family members by my side; but I’d like to believe that I would be as grateful for life and the people by my side, even if I lacked material comforts.

Basically, as I start the new year, I just want to do what’s right – for myself, my family, my friends. That’s my goal. I want to give love and friendship to those who need it; have more friends over for dinner; take this happiness and use it to serve my community.

I’m brimming with optimism this year; though I can’t really put my finger on why. I know my potential – and I know I’ve not yet reached it. I’ve attacked many great goals with a sort of a half-assed, but joyful vigor. I exercise regularly; but I also drink more than I should and don’t always eat as a good as I can. I write in some form almost daily, but have let my my goal to write a book fall through the cracks (although Heidi is pushing me and has me started on one) out of a fear of failure. I volunteer here and there, but I certainly could do more. And, damn it, I need to start crossing more of those places I’ve always wanted to hike off my list.

Plus, I really want to build Beckett and Brody an awesome tree house. And get my garden back in full swing. And teach the kids how to ski. And fix the roof.

There’s a lot to do, I guess.

Happy New Year everybody.

– Ed

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